Breakups are hard especially when it’s a marriage separation or divorce after having totally built a life and dreamt a full future together. There’s no two-ways about it, it’s tough! The emotional toll is enough to send many women into the fetal position with one hand wrapped around a spoon and the other around a pint of Häagen-Dazs® and men being swallowed by their favorite cave man chair to try to zone (with Mr Daz again).
The problem with reaching for comfort foods in times of crisis is that they set us up to feel even worse in our bodies and about ourselves. Yes, sugar absolutely gives us an initial rush. We feel energized and happy. Guess what happens when you eat sugar? Your brain produces more dopamine, a feel-good chemical. Before long, you are eating more and more ice cream to keep your dopamine levels up.
When you experience a breakup, it’s important to fight your urge to self-medicate the sadness away through unhealthy foods or alcohol. Here are some things you can do instead to feel better:
Create a New Space
It’s time for a fresh new start, and there’s no better way to do this than by giving your living space a makeover. Move the furniture around, give your living room a new paint color. Get some new sheets and linens. You want to remove obvious memories from your home and create the kind of space that makes you feel excited for your future.
Reconnect with Loved Ones
Often when we’re in a relationship, all of our time and energy goes to the other person and we see old friends and family less than we’d like. Now is a great time to reconnect with those people who will love and support you through this hard time.
Get some Professional Support
Loved ones can only do so much and they often think they have the answers and want to fix the problem for you when they can’t. On the other hand engaging a professional to listen, counsel, coach or talk with you can help you process your situation and connect with yourself. It can help you get into a much better headspace to begin making choices and decisions for your future.
Breakups will never be easy, but they are a part of life. Do your best to stay away from binging and self-medicating; Instead focus on self-care and compassion.
Get Real About Your Situation.
If you have kids and there’s been a breakup or you are worried about the future ahead, contact a mediator or certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA). It can be important to set the right stage for moving forward and for taking care of yourself and your children. There’s a healthy and an unhealthy way to do this. We can help you work toward a plan to navigate this time and your next steps. We’d love to talk with you.